My husband Tom is the type of person who will stop what he is doing in his day to be present for anyone. (Ask any of my friends, ((or strangers for that matter)), and they will surely have a ‘Tom’ story).
While I am at my absolute best yelling things like, “When will these kids load their dishes, pick up their shit and move away?” Tom gently places his hands on the crown of my head, reminding me that he is praying for me.
Tom can regularly be heard saying, “Oh my stars,” while laughing with a resonance loud enough to shake walls. This is Tom. If you haven’t met him yet, you need to add it to your Bucket List.
I am convinced the only reason we are still together is because Tom is WAY more nurturing/patient/faithful/peaceful/gentle/and kind than I could ever aspire to be.
When Tom and I were dating, I nicknamed him Church. But not like we will hold you under water to wash away all of your sins, sort of Church. (Catholics are far more under the radar, with a twist of equal parts guilt and shame). I'm kidding...sort of.
No, Tom felt like warm candlelight, connection to Spirit, and a peaceful refuge all in one. He is the only person I have ever met to make me feel this way. And as we stood side by side on the altar almost 24 years ago, giddy with excitement and anticipation, promising unity to one another, one thing was certain: we were completely clueless.
If the girls need an encouraging “the glass is half full” pep talk, they call Daddy. If on the other hand, they want to be told every which way it could all go sideways, they call me. Together, we make a complete parental figure.
Tom is my biggest supporter and cheerleader in all things.
You want to have more kids after we have twins? Sure! (cue: second vasectomy after the 5th kid).
You want to quit the job that you love and follow your dream to start your own business without any promise of income? Oh my stars - absolutely!
You want to go to Mardi Gras during a Global Pandemic with your best friend because you’re having a midlife crisis? Why wouldn’t you do that?! I’ll hold down the fort.
Cheers to the spouses that keep us grounded in patience, presence, and the flavor that is solely theirs.
Oh my stars…how did we land you?