While other teens were listening to Prince, Huey Lewis and the Police on their walk mans, my soundtrack sounded more like, “Eat an apple and diet Coke for lunch. Starve yourself until dinner.” Have you also had disordered eating? Wonderful - come and sit next to me.
Starting at a very young age, I religiously tracked, counting every calorie, sit up, or chocolate bar I devoured after the dark, hoping for two tickets to paradise - Eddie Money. Eventually, this led to bulimia. Next, was a good long decade of therapy.
Here is what I have learned so far:
Trusting my Choices = LIBERATION
I have incorporated routines into my day which are guard rails to propel me forward with more love and less loathing. Making choices without shame or guilt is FREEING. By incorporating this regularly, I have learned how to trust myself.
Quiet time = BUILDS SELF-COMPASSION
When I am able to see myself as a Child of God through prayer and meditation, I marinate in the never ending sea of complete and total awe. This gives me a free pass to love myself right where I am. I don’t have to do anything to earn it. I am already a worthy recipient just by being alive.
Hiring a trained professional = REMINDS ME I’M NOT CRAZY
I highly recommend unfiltered free speech with someone you do NOT live with. This creates a pathway filled with more compassion and acceptance.
What if we chose to intentionally live in a space celebrating our goodness? Clicking glasses to everything that we ARE vs. are not? Raising our hands in the air and dancing through the living room with our mommy muffins, bat wings, and wrinkles?
We are enough. We are more than enough. We are fucking glorious.
I love you,
Michelle
* Fun Fact: I keep this picture of little me on my desk as a reminder that she really is doing the very best she can.
