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After Dark

People who go to bed early are really onto something.

P.W.G.T.B.E. seem to have their ducks in a row. I imagine them responsibly grabbing a book, sketchpad, and/or essential oils, and slipping under the sheets as they prepare to drift off into a sound slumber. Their water cup is at arms reach, and they are tucked in comfortably placing face masks over eyelids, welcoming the peace that is night. It is a ritual and they are not messing around. It’s like they value themselves enough to get adequate rest.

I have two things in common with these unicorns: I wash my face and brush my teeth like they do. It stops there.

Cue People Who Go To Bed Late: we are like raccoons at a campsite after dark. We gather around the campfire, pop some tops, and tear into some crinkly packages. We wear pajamas that are more than a decade old, but refuse to get rid of, and leave us at any time looking disheveled and displaced. We disappear into the couch as it swallows us, trying to forget the responsibilities that demand our attention during daylight hours: work/children/mortgage payments. The fog rolls in as we disappear into binging episodes of Deadwood. At 11:30 PM we have one sensible thought: time for bed, and lift ourselves from the den of forgetting to slog our way to the place where sleeping happens. We rest fitfully, waking up to the sound of our college alarm clock, puffy eyed, and pissed off that it’s morning.

I have gone to bed early two nights in a row, and I might be convinced to convert. Also, I am human and do my best work after it gets dark. Let's not hold our breath.

If you have FOMO after dark, I see you,


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